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Pray Like This #6 -- As we forgive others

Continued peace in general. They're keeping my neighbor, Sheila, at other people's houses until they can settle her in a new apartment with a roommate. They said it should just be about another week now. So further progress is being made in her situation. In the meantime, I've been visiting her cat 3-4 times a day to keep his water fresh and his food dish filled and give him his 15+ minutes of "lovins" that he needs to stay calm and happy. They've been bringing Sheila back to refresh clothing and visit him about once a week at this point. Prayers for discernment and wisdom towards Rob continue to be necessary. The way forward seems challenging still... bottom line is that time will tell. Mike continues "jumping through hoops" to get on Disability, but we just trust in God's timing and provision beyond what we can ask or think. (Eph. 3:20)


I'm just going to go ahead here and use the same message opener as Pastor Matt did this week.

Raise your hands if you've seen the movie, "What About Bob??" starring Bill Murray. I have, several times now; although my first viewing wasn't until just a few years ago. But wow... LOL

For those of you who haven't seen it, Bill Murray plays a deeply troubled man who's literally afraid of everything, and he has regular visits to a Therapist in NYC where they both live. The therapist tries to tell him that he's referring him to a friend while he takes his family on vacation to Lake Winnipesaukee, NH*. Well, Bob's not having any of that, he follows them by bus and ends up joining them at their lake house. Hilarity ensues... I don't like "spoilers", so I won't ruin it for you, either.

Anyway, our message focuses on one specific scene (among many) where the Therapist has an issue with Bob, and is called upon to forgive him. The scene is when Bob is on the dock with the Dr.'s son, teaching him how to dive. The Dr. sees this and runs out to stop him because teaching his son to dive was meant to be part of his own plan for the vacation. I'm not going into more detail of the scene myself right here, but following this, everyone is back in the yard and the wife is upset with him for yelling at Bob when he was just trying to help. The son forgives him for barging in, but then the wife says, "What about Bob?" During this family discussion, Bob is in the outdoor shower and the Dr. simply walks over, makes sure Bob acknowledges his presence, and shrugs. Bob shrugs back. Movie continues...


So today's passage is actually contained in the verses immediately following the Lord's Prayer. Let's read them together with our prayer --


Matthew 6:9-15 New International Version

9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation,[a] but deliver us from the evil one.[b]’ 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

___________________________________________________________________


Jesus is very clear here about how they were/we are to live in line with the prayer template He just provided in the previous verses. "IF you forgive other people..." This makes forgiveness from God conditional on our obedience to this instruction**. Turn back one page to Matt. 5:43-48. This passage talks about loving our enemies and doing good to those who wrongfully use us. It's easy to love friends even when we don't see eye to eye, but to love a stranger who does us harm, well that's a whole other ball game, isn't it?? But that's the Way of the Kingdom. Totally counter-intuitive to our everyday world. And that's exactly the point. God's Way is better in the long run. It may be harder at times than the World's way, but that's why it's worth it. Better methods yield better results. As with good cooking/baking, the right ingredients, steps, temperatures, and times are important to good outcomes. There are no "shortcuts" to good results*.


Pastor Matt gave an excellent definition for the word "forgiveness". He said, "Forgiveness is the power of Heaven unleashed among the torrents of Hell." I'd say that's pretty accurate, wouldn't you?? And yet how often do we essentially "dismiss" forgiveness with a shrug like the Therapist did with Bob?? We just think, "oh, it's not a big deal, nothing to make a huge fuss over... just deal as briefly with it as possible and move on..." No... when we do that, we are missing out on a large portion of the experience and growth that are meant to be gained in having a whole conversation around the issue. Having that conversation in the right time and manner is also part of the wisdom here. Too soon, and it will just be a pointless disaster; too late, and the lesson is lost.

But we can't just ignore it. If we shrug it off, we lose the power; if we hold onto our bitterness, it will just continue to fester and effectively "poison" our hearts toward that person or group. Either of those is a lose/lose situation. Now there are 2 basic ways in which people may hurt us to different degrees --

  • Accidental -- The "brush by" on the sidewalk or in a store aisle is low-impact and in that case, the normal exchange of, "Sorry" and "No worries" is sufficient. The area may have been crowded, or someone wasn't paying attention. It happens, you move on... A car accident may or may not be accidental, but the exchange of information and looking over the vehicles, along with an apologetic explanation is fine if it was truly an accident. (most likely, if it wasn't, they wouldn't stick around, and you may not walk away)

  • Purposeful -- If the car situation was not accidental, there's a much bigger problem to be dealt with. There may be physical fighting, weapons, oppression, etc... No matter what the situation looks like or how extreme it gets, there are people who require forgiveness. Two critical caveats to this are as follows, just so nobody can be confused here -- 1) The victimized should never be forced to revisit their oppressive situation for further harm or shame.* 2) Forgiveness is in NO WAY to be used as an excuse to continue hurting others or dismiss their crimes.

Forgiveness means that we release the right to punish/harm those who have harmed us. Jesus' sacrifice on the Cross did away with the OT Laws of Justice where equal harm was done to "balance the scales". The whole "eye for an eye", "tooth for a tooth" bit was over. Jesus' arrival started a whole new system of interacting with God and with each other. First of all, Jesus' Virgin Birth proved that God was real and desired to fellowship with us.* Later, His ministry and miracles brought further confirmation, and finally, His death and resurrection "sealed the deal", as it were.


The release of our right to punish or harm others gives us freedom in several ways --

  1. Not only does it increase our capacity to give forgiveness to others; but to feel worthy of receiving it from God as well as from others. It's another way that God invites us into a life of peace.

  2. As mentioned above, holding onto bitterness "poisons" our hearts. It reduces our capacity to love and be loved.

  3. By harboring unforgiveness, we are actually "playing God" because we think we know better than He does who deserves our forgiveness or not. If you remember last week, this includes forgiveness toward ourselves. God's purpose in creating us was to reflect His love into the World and the Earth's love back to Him. It was not for us to sit in judgement so He had "one less thing" to deal with. Once again, as Creator, only He has the authority to judge us.

  4. Forgiveness gives us the freedom to live in God's love, reflect His character, and walk in the power Jesus gained for us on the Cross. Literally, the power of Heaven to overcome Hell.

We are never more like Jesus than when we forgive. It is like the "calling card" of the Kingdom of God. Jesus' entire life, death, and resurrection were instrumental in providing for God's forgiveness and righteousness in our lives so that we would feel worthy and be worthy to spend Eternity with Him.

Think about the 2 thieves on the crosses beside Jesus. One ridiculed Jesus and said that if He were really from God, He could get the 3 of them down safely. The other acknowledged his sins in humility and repentance. Even in the "raging mess" of death on the Cross, Jesus forgave not only the repentant thief, but the soldiers who nailed Him up. How much more should we be able to forgive the "petty little trifles" that others send our way (most of the time)*??

Forgiveness is not some, "Pollyanna, good in everything 'fluff'". It's a hugely powerful and important process that should not be "shrugged off" as a fly off our shoulder. It is the unleashing of power over our human messes of things such as shame, weakness, and rejection. The fact is, Hell doesn't have an answer for forgiveness. Satan is literally rendered powerless over it. When the "powers"* of bitterness, resentment, hatred, etc... are met with love, they lose all potency for harm. Love, in the form of forgiveness, really does conquer all.

God's forgiveness toward us enables us to become His Children, and in turn, His "warriors" of love in the World. We cannot allow ourselves to be "dragged into the pit" of unforgiveness. We sometimes may think that God's mercy is too good for others, but feel it's justified for ourselves. Who are we to think that we're any better than anyone else?? God sent Jesus to everyone, not just you. Now granted, the deeper or greater the harm, the harder it may be to forgive. But whether it was intentional and aimed at a larger group of people; intentional only toward you and planned for over time, or simply a momentary lapse done out of weakness, God requires us to forgive so that we can be forgiven.

-- God Bless!!


Footnotes --

  1. FYI -- Lake Winnipesaukee is not a real town, just a real lake. It's actually only about 40 minutes up the road from me... ;)

  2. Forgiveness is conditional -- Some people think that the once we're Saved, we don't have to continue asking forgiveness because Jesus' died "once for all" (Rom.6:10, Heb. 10, etc...) The point they're missing is that while Jesus' death and resurrection provided the opportunity for forgiveness in Salvation, we still need to acknowledge and confess our sins as we go. Our passage today tells us this along with verses such as 1 John 1:9, 1 Cor. 11:27, Mk. 11:24-25, and Eph. 1:7 among others. I would need to do more research on this concerning the question of whether this means capacity for forgiveness as suggested above, or the actual forgiveness of each offense. (watch for updates on this)

  3. I know some things can be cooked faster at higher temps, but that's like an exception that proves the rule) I made a pot roast Sunday and that takes lower for longer to get the most tender meat.

  4. "Victims should not be made to revisit..." I try to avoid politics on here when possible, but this requires further comment. The tearing down of statues so that victims don't see a daily reminder of their people's oppression is not a valid solution. It's not going to erase what happened. The point of these statues is a reminder to not allow these situations to be repeated. Now, I know what some will say, they could be moved into a museum... but that's not going to keep them in view for everyone to continue fighting against the issues. Many people in these oppressed groups may not be able to afford admission to a museum. Keeping them in the locations of the immediate issues is the only valid answer.

  5. Jesus' Virgin Birth -- There are those who believe Mary's birth was also "immaculate", but history doesn't support that theory. Neither does the Bible. The Bible says only that Mary "found favor" with God. Well, let's not any of us forget that Noah, Abraham, David, Paul, and others also "found favor" with God or He wouldn't have chosen them "out of the crowd" to fill His purposes, now would He?? As to His fellowship with us, it is abundantly clear throughout the OT that God wanted a good relationship with us; but Jesus' arrival as a baby happened after 400 yrs of "radio silence" from God. That's why the reminder was important.

  6. "Petty little trifles" -- I added the words "most of the time" here in order to clarify the point that I am in no way "downplaying" the immense atrocities some groups or individuals have suffered throughout history. I'm simply saying that what most of us experience in every day life is usually pretty tame in comparison. And conversely, that's not meant to reduce the every day stuff as unimportant or unimpactful, either. Every hurtful word or action has it's consequences for both parties. (trust me, as a long-term victim of verbal abuse from more than one direction growing up, I can speak very strongly about this) As has been mentioned before in other messages here, even murder starts with nothing more than a single negative thought toward another person. Safest not to start down the road at all, but if we have a moment on the path, best to stop and turn ourselves around sooner than later.

  7. "Powers" of bitterness, etc... I put the word "powers" in quotes here because, while those ideas may seem to give us power in the moment, they are really holding us "hostage" to their false potency as opposed to the freedom, and ultimately true, power of love.


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